i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
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I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
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Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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