she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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