last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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