He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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