I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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