You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
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I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize