I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
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I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
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They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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