Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
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I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
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Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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