Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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