Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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