that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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