I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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