Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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