Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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