As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
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I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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