So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize