capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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