mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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