Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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