i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
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i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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