Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize