Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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