you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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