Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize