let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
He has the fingertips of a God
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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