did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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