Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
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If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
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then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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