I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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