i would punch a child for taco bell
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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