Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize