I'm jealous of your bromance
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize