i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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