for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
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I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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