Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
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He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
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We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have already put on my inside pants.
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