apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
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