Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
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Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
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Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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