If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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