So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
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It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
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Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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