They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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