You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
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You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
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Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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