3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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