so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
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I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
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You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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