You just made me feel so damn special
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Your penis caused this!
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