it hurts more in the daytime
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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