are you still at the devil's house?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
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Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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