Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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