I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
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We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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