Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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