You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize