ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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